Many people are puzzled by the profound emotional, spiritual, physical and psychological affects that are caused by death, loss and trauma.
I thought that I would respond to a few of the most frequent questions I get asked.
Question: Since my loved one has died, some of my friends and family are telling me that it is time to get on with life, and that I've spent enough time grieving. Why am I finding it so difficult?
Answer: Friends and family are well meaning, but the fact is that everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way. It is not unusual to feel strong emotions throughout the first year as you commemorate holidays and birthdays without the deceased. Each year will have its own triggers but in time you will become accustomed to your own "new normal".
Question: Am I going crazy? I sometimes feel my daughter's presence in the room with me and it feels as real as when she was alive.
Answer: This is not uncommon. Many people report sensory experiences after their loved one dies. Some people report feeling touched, smelling their unique scent, and feeling that the person is in the room with them. For most people this is comforting and gradually lessens with time.
Question: My doctor says I'm medically fine but I often feel unwell. Why do I feel like this?
Answer: Loss of any kind, whether from divorce, job redundancy, empty- nesting, death or from any of the other many reasons we feel bereft, affects all aspects of us. Many people describe their pain in physical terms, as in feeling broken- hearted, kicked in the stomach, having a weight on their chest, or flu-like sensations. Make sure you keep in touch with your doctor and take care of yourself while you are adjusting.
If you have any questions that you would like me to address, please feel free to send them to this blog and I'll do my best to answer them.
"When bad things happen to good people they become better people."