KovenCounselling - Solution Focused Grief Counselling
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FAQs (frequently asked questions)


I  have found that many people are puzzled by  the profound emotional, spiritual, physical and psychological affects that are caused by death, loss and trauma.

Here are a few of the questions I am asked that cause clients to worry.

Question:  My loved one  died about 6 months ago and now friends and family are  telling me that it is time to get on with my life.  Why am I finding this so difficult?

Answer: Friends and family are well meaning, but the fact is that everyone grieves at their own pace and in their own way. It is not unusual to feel strong emotions throughout the first year as you commemorate holidays and birthdays without the deceased. Each year will have its own triggers but in time you will become accustomed to your own "new normal".

Question: I have recently suffered a great loss ( whether job loss, divorce, illness, accident, unexpected or sudden death etc.) and I often feel unwell. My doctor says that I am medically fine. Why do I feel like this?

Answer: Experiencing loss affects all aspects of a person. Many people describe their grief in physical terms as in feeling broken- hearted, getting kicked in the stomach, having a huge weight on their chest, or having flu-like sensations. Your first step is always to keep in touch with your doctor, but making sure you are taking care of yourself and getting enough sleep, exercise, good nutrition and social contacts will be very important to your over-all health while you are adjusting.

Question: Am I going crazy? I sometimes feel that my deceased daughter is in the room with me.

Answer: This is not uncommon. Many grieving people report sensory experiences after  their loved one dies.  Whether your heightened awareness is of their scent, touch, or presence , most people find that this is comforting and gradually lessens with time.

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